In the beginning before there was light,                                                1.0
His Noodlyness, the FSM burned bright.                                                   1.1

With noodly appendages and two giant balls,                                      1.2
Appear the world and stars, he calls.                                                      1.3

And lo! thus appeared the heavens and the skies                         1.4

And all that in this noodly universe which flies                           1.5

The sun, the moon and the earth,                                                                   1.6
Everything, all the universe, was given
birth.                                                  1.7

In appendage strings is it held together                                                  1.8
Everything's made to float happy like a feather                                 1.9

The sun and the planets resemble his balls                                          2.0
His divine appendages affirm nothing falls.                                         2.1

With his holy appendages all he holds                                                    2.2
If ye believe in Gravity, ye shall be in hell’s folds                                     2.3


Creation of Woman/Man

After the creation of the skies, his Noodlyness decides                          2.4
Earth it shall be where life resides                                                                 2.5

He creates all creatures, the dino to bact.                                                2.6
And last of all he creates woman, to sign the pact.                                     2.7

First the FSM creates the woman                                                                 2.8
And out of her birth canal emerges the man                                           2.9

This is the way it shall always be                                                                3.0
The one who claims otherwise shall answer to me                                 3.1

So before there was Adam, there was Eve                                               3.2
If ye don’t believe, ye shall receive the FSM’s hefty heave                         3.3

Thy duty is to be joyful and party on Earth                                                  3.4
And fill this round world with joy and mirth                                                 3.5

Ye shall live your lives as pirates jolly                                                        3.6
Veereest thou from that path, it is utter folly                                             3.7

Eat the good pasta thou shalt every day                                                     3.8
And this command every pirate must obey                                               3.9

If thou veerest, thy judgment shall be                                                          4.0
In pirate hell shall I condemn thee                                                                 4.1

This pact I have imposed on you                                                                 4.2
And if ye disobey, in the fires of hell ye shall stew                                 4.3

As confirmation of thy pact I shall brand                                           4.4
All your DNA like my noodly strand                                                            4.5

And false evidence everywhere shall I put of evolution                         4.6
But true believers know only I am the solution                                         4.7



Thus boomed the FSM to Eve and Adam                                                                    4.8
So they partied, and lots of children, they had ‘em                                                    4.9

With the ingredients of the good earth they brewed beer                                               5.0
And as the FSM commanded, it would bring good cheer                                               5.1

So as pirates they lived, with strippers and the good beer                                             5.2
Much afraid of the FSM’s wrath, should they from the true path veer                      5.3

But as time went by, people began to forget                                                                5.4
And false gods, angels and prophets they did beget                                              5.5

First came Noah who by the pirates was smote                                                             5.6
But then came Hari Krishnas in their boat                                                                     5.7

For years the chosen people did they persecute                                                           5.8
Till all the true pirates became mute                                                                                5.9

The true ones were hunted and held in spite                                                                   6.0
That is why they chose to be out of sight.                                                                        6.1

False pirates were planted in perversion                                                                        6.2
To mislead believers and create blasphemous diversion                                     6.3

And finally this did incur the FSM’s wrath                                                                      6.4
For the people had forgotten their chosen path                                                       6.5

Sent he war, quake, famine and flood                                                                            6.6
The whole earth to be covered with blood                                                                     6.7

Only when true pirates trembled and prayed, He gave a sign                                     6.8
And sent his Noodlyness to Earth, a prophet most benign                                        6.9

John Henderson was called he                                                                                 7.0
If thy follow him, heaven is assured thee                                                                             7.1

Read his gospel, follow his truth and light                                                                           7.2
And after death ye shall see heaven’s true sight                                                                 7.3

Be thou male or female, goest thou to heaven                                                                         7.4
Volcanoes of beer, sexy strippers seventy seven                                                                7.5

And as for the strippers of Bobby Henderson,                                                                             7.6
When he descendeth above, they’ll have the boobs of Pamela Anderson                                 7.7

So beware ye, the power of the FSM and repent                                                                                7.8
Live thy life a jolly pirate, a life well spent.                                                                                     7.9


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    One day I was suddenly touched by the FSM and I created this blog to spread the good news.


    April 2012